valencia / lost

I can’t get a hold of my sister. I can’t even find her. I have no fucking idea where she is. And then when I finally arrive in this God forsaken town, without a plan or a single clue as to what I need to do, I drive to the house where I thought my father lived, only to find that it’s been replaced by a community swimming pool with a double barrel slide. I called Hadley crying and for the first time in our entire lives together, my perfect, loving, angel of a sister tells me, “I told you so.” So I hung up on her and threw my phone at my windshield. It broke into five different pieces. I couldn’t call Caleb to ask for forgiveness, to give up, to run back home to him.

What the fuck am I supposed to do now? Why did I come here?

I can’t even remember my reasons.